Now I’m sitting here at my old child’s room ten years later. Back in 2009, when I turned 15 I knew that pretty exciting times were ahead since my birthday wish was a little digital camera (yes, back then, smart phones weren’t taking over yet). Anyways, I’m glad that I trusted my gut feeling and started documenting the past ten years. Looking back I can say that I’ve grown personally and mentally enormously. I was this little girl, almost finishing first year of high school. Little did I know where I’ll be ten years later. Or rather that I’ll be still coming back to my mom’s place and being super grateful for it.
When I was 15 I basically started my ‘academic’ career, meaning that lots of studying was still ahead of me. Back then I would have never believed that I’d be sitting here ten years later, with my finished Master’s degree. Back then I would have neither thought that I’m done with my A-Levels nor with my studies one day. I would have never thought that my path would lead me to where I am now, that I will end up living in different countries and eventually in my dream city Vienna.
Similar to ten years ago, I feel that I’m currently in a transition phase too. This time from my study life into my work life. This step feels, if you asked me, even bigger. I think I’m still (unconsciously) afraid of failing and not being able to be successful. I’m afraid that my dreams are too ambitious and that I’m not capable of the work stress. Therefore, I’m afraid that I won’t find my personal work-life-balance. I’m afraid that I might overwork myself and that I won’t be happy with my life. Even though, I love my current job – it is so much fun for me working with taxes (I never thought that I’d end up saying that). Especially because there are little people out there who would actually say that.
Turning 25 also made me think a lot about my current values and in which direction I would like my life to be heading. The older I get, the more I appreciate quality times. It is so important to treat yourself right and to also surround yourself with the right people. Hence, I am super thankful for my mom, my aunt and my closest friends, who are always there when I need them.
I have to admit I am definitely an overthinker. There are pros and cons to that. One good side is that I am pretty sure about my goals. Even though I have to say, that I struggle from time to time where I wanna go and if I chose the right path for me. Being not a student anymore made me realize, ok, Lisa you have to get a grid, you are now on your own, you have a job and you are now officially an adult. This makes me realise the older you get, the more responsibilities you have (being a good and a bad thing at the same time).
In May, June and beginning of July I wasn’t in the best state of mind to be honest. My body told me I need to slow down and do things step by step before fully kicking off my career. Despite the fact that it might set me a little bit behind, taking care of your body is still priority No 1 when you go through tough times. I am a believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’. Thus it happened in the right moment of my life. It made me think a lot about my life and my upcoming (uncertain) future. I defined my personal goals for the next few years as well as what I would like to prioritize in my life. Meaning in which activities I would like to put effort into and in which not. I am extremely grateful that I am getting slowly better day by day and that I could celebrate my 25th birthday with all my loved ones.
Life also taught me, that sometimes you need to let go of things/people in order to be ready for new opportunities. In the beginning it always seems hard. But what’s the saying, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Therefore, I did not only digesting my disease but also my inner feelings and especially my anxiety. I still know it will take some time, however, I know I’m on the right path and this is what matters most. Because I would like to create a life worth living and it is my wish to turn my passions into reality. If you manifest your true believes, life will find its way and the thing you desire will come true. That’s what I truly believe in and what give me the power to fight through bad times and obstacles.
In my adolescence I also experienced lots of up and downs in my love life. I know it may sound cheesy, but I’ve experienced first boyfriends, first breakups, first getting my shit together again and all the other feelings coming with it. At the moment I’m in a total self-finding phase and I am happy that I can just focus on myself and find out what I really want. Then sooner or later the one will come and I still believe in big love.
Overall, I want to address in this blogpost how grateful I am for all the experiences I could already gain, for being able to get older, for having the right people in my life, for my job, my flat and for just being happy. Life is a roller coaster and it’s about learning to dance in the rain and not the rain to stop. I’ve worked hard for my current life and I can be proud of myself how far I’ve already come. Therefore, I am ready for my new life chapter. Cheers to that and for many amazing moments which will come for sure <3